i'm sitting in my brother's house with his dog at my feet. my brother is in the hospital with his wife awaiting the arrival of their first child. it feels like early october in north carolina. such an epic day.
i've noticed that my brother's dog will bark incessently until i pet him. and i, in my twenty-something-everything-around-me-is-a-metaphor mentality, can't help but see myself in his behavior. all animals seem to need affection in some form. that's become painfully clear to me in the past week. solitary activity such as my bike rides through the city, recording music, and reading have provided me with some fulfillment; but the few times this week where i've been able to share a (seemingly) mundane moment with someone else has provided me with far more satisfaction. the quote from (the film version of) 'into the wild', "HAPPINESS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED," has been echoing around me the past month.
in the past 2 or 3 years i have found myself falling into deep bouts of cynicism. it's so easy. i have to remind myself that it's lazy thinking. but then i internally make fun of myself for thinking that. it's a weird cycle. but cynicism is hip right? and so is being painfully self-aware and sarcastic.
i have a feeling if i was telling a certain person i know about this, they would attribute it all to my astrological sign--cancer. i'm not buying it. but maybe that's 'very cancer' of me to react that way.
either way, a new human being is starting their journey today and that is incredible. i'm going to the hospital tonight to greet him.
lastly, if you have time, listen to this bonnie "prince" billy song. it's been a big part of my soundtrack the last 3 days and earned it's way into becoming the title of this entry.
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